I was at the Wal-Mart, which is where I think everybody goes eventually. If they die without Christ.

My parents were very protective. I couldn't even cross the street without them getting all excited, and placing bets.

Sometimes my mother goes through my socks and underwear. I wouldn't mind, but it tickles so much!

The other night, the president gave a speech. He said, "children are our most prescious natural resource". I thought, "let's hope it never comes to that".

Libertarians believe consenting adults have the right to do whatever they choose, except band together.

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.

I try not to talk during the day when I have a show that night. My voice is my instrument, just like a saxophonist's instrument is his saxophone, plus also his voice, if he's the one between tunes that makes announcements.