My parents were very protective. I couldn't even cross the street without them getting all excited, and placing bets.

When I was 10, I beat up the school bully. His arms were in casts. That's what gave me the courage.

I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.

The only work I ever turned down was a cable programme called Diving for Excrement.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

Christmas seems to start earlier and earlier every year. Like, this time, it's on December 25th.

When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, "Emo, don't go near the cellar door!" One day when they were away, I went up to the cellar door. And I pushed it and walked through and saw strange, wonderful things, things I had never seen before, like... trees. Grass. Flowers. The sun... that was nice... the sun.