Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow.
Well, my brother says 'Hello.' So, hooray for speech therapy.
I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy.
I'm not a fatalist; even if I were, what could I do about it?
I was a cute baby. My mom said when I was born they threw away the mold. Some of it grew back.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.