I'd be in the backyard minding my own business. The other kids would call me names, like meatball head or neo-Calvinist. I'd run after them, but lucky for them the chain would snap my neck back.
Emo PhilipsI lent a friend of mine $10,000 for plastic surgery and now I don't know what he looks like.
Emo PhilipsMy sister just had a baby. We can have company over. She'll be in front of everyone with her um... breast... out feeding it. You know... cereal or whatever.
Emo PhilipsI find you can often find humor just by turning something upside-down. Like a... small child.
Emo Philips