The only work I ever turned down was a cable programme called Diving for Excrement.

So I'm at the wailing wall, standing there like a moron, with my harpoon.

I was at the Wal-Mart, which is where I think everybody goes eventually. If they die without Christ.

I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it's hard to find 32 of them.

I love Florida. I love the beach. I love the sound of the crashing surfers against the rocks.

I'd be in the backyard minding my own business. The other kids would call me names, like meatball head or neo-Calvinist. I'd run after them, but lucky for them the chain would snap my neck back.

Computers aren't intelligent, they only think they are.