I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
My sister gained 80 pounds expecting her baby. Well, you get nervous, waiting for those adoption papers to clear.
One man's pet-stained carpet is another man's Twister game.
Well, my brother says 'Hello.' So, hooray for speech therapy.
Always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said: 'A truck!'
Coming up with a funny joke is like falling in love: It can hit you any time, anywhere. Having said that, the more you put yourself out there, the better your odds will be.