There's a joke in everything, the trick is finding it. The best compliment a joke can get is what Huxley said about Darwin's theory of evolution - 'Why didn't I think of that?'

Whatever happened to the good ole days, when children worked in factories?

I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.

Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist.

I don't know if I was put on this Earth for a purpose or not. But I'm fairly confident that I'll be taken off of it for one.

Not everybody hates me. Only the people who've met me.

Anger punishes the bearer's heart. Who remains angry suffers most. For many, the search for perfection virtually guarantees it will be found, and disregarded in order to continue the search. Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.