I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks.

I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.

Once I posed nude for a magazine. I've never been back to THAT newstand.

I've always had a special place in my heart for old women digging through garbage bins. They saved my life so many times as a baby.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

I've always suffered from a complete inability to sense who's important.

When I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I'm a man. And I can take the wetness!