You know what I hate the most? People that imitate owls.

My girlfriend said, Emo, I'm seeing another man. I said, Well, try rubbing your eyes or something.

Once I posed nude for a magazine. I've never been back to THAT newstand.

My parents were very protective. I couldn't even cross the street without them getting all excited, and placing bets.

I'm not a Republican... but I am saving up to be one.

I love England. In fact, they're getting to know me so well at Heathrow Immigration that this time I was able to completely bypass the six months rabies quarantine.

When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn't involve a magic spell.