I'm not as good a swimmer as I used to be - thanks to evolution.

I don't know if I have sexual magnetism or animal magnetism, though sometimes I'll find a squirrel stuck to my forehead.

I've always kind of pushed the envelope in terms of trying to get away with things no one else was going near. I always thought of myself like a mouse trying to get cheese that no one else could get without getting their tail snipped off.

I'm not a fatalist; even if I were, what could I do about it?

I learned about sex the hard way... from books.

I started doing stand-up at the age of 20. This was back in 1976, around the time (coincidence?) that the first comedy clubs were starting. The young comedians of today gasp when I tell them how many shows I did that first year: 500. Five nights a week.

A friend of mine gave me a Philip Glass record. I listened to it for five hours before I realized it had a scratch on it.