When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Emo PhilipsWhen I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I'm a man. And I can take the wetness!
Emo PhilipsI was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.
Emo Philips