I was a cute baby. My mom said when I was born they threw away the mold. Some of it grew back.

I'm not Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint.

I think fur looks better on an animal than on a human being. So I dress my dog in a mink teddy.

Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist.

When I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I'm a man. And I can take the wetness!

In college I was one of six males who auditioned for five male roles in a comedy play. I was the one rejected. At that moment I made up my mind never to place myself at the mercy of some pompous, goateed, black-turtleneck-shirted "should I yay him or nay him?" pantywaist ever again.

I don't know if I have sexual magnetism or animal magnetism, though sometimes I'll find a squirrel stuck to my forehead.