Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

I used to get drunk every night until I puked. Finally I admitted, "I am a bulemic".

I was a cute baby. My mom said when I was born they threw away the mold. Some of it grew back.

But I like to swim. At high school, I tried out for the swim team. I shaved off all my body hair, and that extra burst of speed from all the bullies shouting Kill the fairy.

I'll do anything for my wife, it's turning out.

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.

Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow.