The subconscious is like having a laboratory assistant who pretends to love you and help you, but after you go home to go to sleep it goes back into the lab and starts fumbling with the data and destroying it. It's a very tricky thing. People think our minds are us, but that's not true at all. The mind is not us.
Emo PhilipsI've always had a special place in my heart for old women digging through garbage bins. They saved my life so many times as a baby.
Emo PhilipsThere's a joke in everything, the trick is finding it. The best compliment a joke can get is what Huxley said about Darwin's theory of evolution - 'Why didn't I think of that?'
Emo PhilipsInterviewers always used to ask me about my pageboy haircut, and it drove me nuts: it almost made me suspect that there was something strange about it. So I cut off my pageboy.
Emo PhilipsEven the worst comic is at least somewhat entertaining, if only in a pathological way, for five minutes.
Emo Philips