The subconscious is like having a laboratory assistant who pretends to love you and help you, but after you go home to go to sleep it goes back into the lab and starts fumbling with the data and destroying it. It's a very tricky thing. People think our minds are us, but that's not true at all. The mind is not us.

I don't really hang out with people. I like to be by myself. In fact, I've been arrested a few times because I like to walk around at two or three in the morning, looking at shop windows. The cops take me to the station and fingerprint me. But I wouldn't call that hanging out.

Sex is logically impossible after marriage. You have to overcome the paradox of Not this again, and Hey, where did you learn that?

Recently, I've ventured into the mammal family - so that's good for my sex life.

The battle of the sexes will never be won as long as we keep sleeping with the enemy.

Writer's block is a myth. I never see the gardeners suffering from gardening block.

I think fur looks better on an animal than on a human being. So I dress my dog in a mink teddy.