I'm a great lover, I'll bet.

I love England. In fact, they're getting to know me so well at Heathrow Immigration that this time I was able to completely bypass the six months rabies quarantine.

I give money to Unicef because I like the 'bang for your buck' aspect. Here's $10, go and save 1,000 kids from blindness!

I think of my body as a temple. Or at least a relatively well-managed Presbyterian youth center.

Girls throw their panties on the stage, but rarely if ever do they fit.

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some.

Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel.