I'm a great lover, I'll bet.

My sister just had a baby. We can have company over. She'll be in front of everyone with her um... breast... out feeding it. You know... cereal or whatever.

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them.

My sister gained 80 pounds expecting her baby. Well, you get nervous, waiting for those adoption papers to clear.

Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

I've always suffered from a complete inability to sense who's important.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.