My girlfriend said, Just buy me something crazy and expensive, something I don't even need! So, I signed her up for radiation treatment.

For some reason, religious jokes seem as trivial as jokes about food or driving.

Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.

I ran five miles today. Then, finally, I said, 'Here, lady...take your purse.'

Computers aren't intelligent, they only think they are.

I always wanted a beautiful loving wife and she always wanted to be a citizen.

They have a sign at the beach, "no glass bottles". I think that's so the other sand particles don't feel like underachievers.