I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.

Some comedians change their style, often to their advantage; but I see no reason why I can't continue with the "urbane sophisticate" 'til the day I die.

I think the whole concept of monotheism is a gift from the gods.

Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel.

New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guy was very rude. I said, "I'd like a card." He says, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York." So I stabbed him.

I love Florida. I love the beach. I love the sound of the crashing surfers against the rocks.

Back in high school, my buddies tried to put the make on anything that moved. I told them, Why limit yourselves?