The nicest present I ever got was an exploding suppository.
My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe.
My dad always said, If someone hands you a lemon, make lemonade. Plus that also works wonderfully as a metaphor.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
I don't know how electricity works. All I know is that it calms me.
I was a cute baby. My mom said when I was born they threw away the mold. Some of it grew back.