My first job as a kid was going from door to door selling Christmas cards, to raise money for my grandmother's hip replacement. Because, you know... You break it, you buy it.
Santa Fe is fun to visit, but property there will cost you an arm and a dillo.
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
When I was ten, my family moved to Downer's Grove, Illinois. When I was twelve, I found them.
I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me.
He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.