I've always kind of pushed the envelope in terms of trying to get away with things no one else was going near. I always thought of myself like a mouse trying to get cheese that no one else could get without getting their tail snipped off.

Because we allow handguns. When you know someone in the crowd might be packing a rod, it can't help but rush your timing.

I started doing stand-up at the age of 20. This was back in 1976, around the time (coincidence?) that the first comedy clubs were starting. The young comedians of today gasp when I tell them how many shows I did that first year: 500. Five nights a week.

I love Florida. I love the beach. I love the sound of the crashing surfers against the rocks.

My dad always said, If someone hands you a lemon, make lemonade. Plus that also works wonderfully as a metaphor.

I lent a friend of mine $10,000 for plastic surgery and now I don't know what he looks like.

When I went to college, my parents threw a going away party for me, according to the letter.