I've always kind of pushed the envelope in terms of trying to get away with things no one else was going near. I always thought of myself like a mouse trying to get cheese that no one else could get without getting their tail snipped off.

I never cheated on my wife. I took seriously those vows of celibacy.

The other night, the president gave a speech. He said, "children are our most prescious natural resource". I thought, "let's hope it never comes to that".

The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.

Recently, I've ventured into the mammal family - so that's good for my sex life.

Back in high school, my buddies tried to put the make on anything that moved. I told them, Why limit yourselves?

My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often.