I've always kind of pushed the envelope in terms of trying to get away with things no one else was going near. I always thought of myself like a mouse trying to get cheese that no one else could get without getting their tail snipped off.

I was a cute baby. My mom said when I was born they threw away the mold. Some of it grew back.

I pray a simple prayer every morning. It's an ecumenical prayer. Whether you're Catholic or Jewish or Muslim or Hindu, I think it speaks to the heart of every faith. It goes “Lord please break the laws of the universe for my convenience. Amen.”

I told my wife she looks sexy with black fingernails. Now she thinks I slammed the car door on her hand on purpose.

I'm totally normal in every respect, but I have this one quirk - I can't give out a number without laughing. It's a problem when I'm giving my credit card number over the phone because they always think: 'He must have just stolen it.'

Christmas seems to start earlier and earlier every year. Like, this time, it's on December 25th.

Recently, I've ventured into the mammal family - so that's good for my sex life.