When I was a kid, my nickname was Mr. Baseball. Because of the stitches.

People always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi.

I'm filthy stinking rich - well, two out of three ain't bad.

Probably the worst time in a person's life is when they have to kill a family member because they are the devil. But otherwise it's been a pretty good day.

My dad and I, we used to play baseball. I was the catcher. Which I liked. Until one day, I saw this game on TV, and I said, Hang on, how come their catcher doesn't have his hands tied to his ankles?

I've always had a special place in my heart for old women digging through garbage bins. They saved my life so many times as a baby.

My first job as a kid was going from door to door selling Christmas cards, to raise money for my grandmother's hip replacement. Because, you know... You break it, you buy it.