Santa Fe is fun to visit, but property there will cost you an arm and a dillo.

I picked up a hitch hiker. You've got to when you hit them.

When I was a kid, I slept on rubber sheets, but now, I'm a man. And I can take the wetness!

In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some.

I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it's hard to find 32 of them.

Some comedians change their style, often to their advantage; but I see no reason why I can't continue with the "urbane sophisticate" 'til the day I die.

I've always had a special place in my heart for old women digging through garbage bins. They saved my life so many times as a baby.