Computers aren't intelligent, they only think they are.

Charlie Chaplin is the greatest artist of the 20th century. He takes me from laughter to tears in seconds. And he was one of the very first funny men. It's like the original violins were made in Cremona and there's never been any better since. Sometimes the best come right off the bat.

You know, a lot of girls go out with me just to further their careers...damn anthropologists.

Recently, I've ventured into the mammal family - so that's good for my sex life.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

My mom gave me one of those cloth calendars for the kitchen. It took me three hours to sew in a dental appointment.

I think of people as members of an audience. But an audience acts independently of every individual. It's an organism on its own. I focus on that living hydra in the dark.