Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.

I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.

If you're worth over $50m you should have to dress like that guy on the Monopoly box. The super-rich shouldn't get all the benefits of looking like a regular guy.

I ran five miles today. Then, finally, I said, 'Here, lady...take your purse.'

I took my grandmother to the emergency room. The doctor said that she was on an artificial life support system, and that although her brain was dead her heart was still beating. I though, "we've never had a democrat in the family before".

Anger punishes the bearer's heart. Who remains angry suffers most. For many, the search for perfection virtually guarantees it will be found, and disregarded in order to continue the search. Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.