Coming up with a funny joke is like falling in love: It can hit you any time, anywhere. Having said that, the more you put yourself out there, the better your odds will be.

I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it's hard to find 32 of them.

When I was 10, I beat up the school bully. His arms were in casts. That's what gave me the courage.

I don't really hang out with people. I like to be by myself. In fact, I've been arrested a few times because I like to walk around at two or three in the morning, looking at shop windows. The cops take me to the station and fingerprint me. But I wouldn't call that hanging out.

I think of people as members of an audience. But an audience acts independently of every individual. It's an organism on its own. I focus on that living hydra in the dark.

I find you can often find humor just by turning something upside-down. Like a... small child.

Once I posed nude for a magazine. I've never been back to THAT newstand.