Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.

I have a friend who lives by a three-word philosophy: Seize the Moment. Just possibly, she may be the wisest woman on this planet.

Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna.

Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.

Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you.