I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, “Never mind! I'll do it myself.

No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.

Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.

If I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my children's eyes, they'd flinch and call their attorney.

I've decided life is too fragile to finish a book I dislike just because it cost $16.95 and everyone else loved it. Or eat a fried egg with a broken yolk (which I hate) when the dog would leap over the St. Louis Arch for it.

Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.