There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.

Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.

I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble.

There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.

I don't know when pepper mills in a restaurant got to be right behind frankincense and myrrh in prominence. It used to be in a little jar that sat next to the salt on the table and everyone passed it around, sneezed, and it was no big deal.

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.