Is the square root of hate the same thing as love times love?

Don't get me wrong - I'll put $25 on the ground and then if you pick it up and we have sex in an alley, that's not a crime. That's a coincidence.

When years from now people look back on today, they will think the same thing they already do but with more reasons for it.

I remember the first time I had sex. I wore a cape and goggles... because I didn't know.

You are an alchemist who can turn six beers into an awkward three week relationship.

I just loved comedy as a kid and I think at some point, it just occurred to me that you could try it, and I did.

In America, Qualification is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified.