The only thing wrong with me was that I was a weirdo that hated school. I'm sure now there'd be a disorder for it, but I was just an oddball.

I believe in diversification of income, because you never know what will happen. I'm a slightly paranoid person who thinks things could be ruined at any time.

Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. If they touch at the wrong time, you can make a baby or die.

What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.

Before going home with a guy, give him a blow job. Guys are always more relaxed after a blow job.

I don't think you should invest in commodities. Eddie Murphy made it seem risky in Trading Places.

You can do anything you want, as long as it works.