The only thing wrong with me was that I was a weirdo that hated school. I'm sure now there'd be a disorder for it, but I was just an oddball.

I remember the first time I had sex. I wore a cape and goggles... because I didn't know.

Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.

Don't throw a baby at anything - even a burglar.

I can kill a dog in six ways. Five of them are throwing missiles at it.

I'm fascinated by the logic that leads to something.

Marriage is when two people love each other so much that they promise that if they ever, ever stop they'll fill out tons of paperwork.