Don't get me wrong - I'll put $25 on the ground and then if you pick it up and we have sex in an alley, that's not a crime. That's a coincidence.

I went to high school in Lexington, Massachusetts, which in hindsight was very nice.

Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street?

I moved recently and I moved my cable and Internet and phone service which was all provided by Time Warner Cable. And you know, I made a plan with them where they'd come sometime between summer solstice and winter solstice and I would wait.

I laugh at weird times - at good and bad things alike. I laugh simply when things are incongruous. It's not necessarily a judgment - as it is noticing the oddity of something.

Why is no one talking about all the potential savings from a complete economic collapse?

Everyone knows that Jews control the media and banks and stuff. But did you know that when you go to a carnival and you have to be a certain height to go on a ride, Jews control that height? It has nothing to do with safety. It's just us flexing our Semitic muscles.