You are an alchemist who can turn six beers into an awkward three week relationship.

What do you think you should do if you're attacked by a bear? Play dead? No - that's a lie promoted by the bears.

You can do anything you want, as long as it works.

If this is airing in the future and no one knows who Karl Rove is - he's the reason you all live underground.

You wanna know what a gateway drug is? It opens a gate.

I was in Vancouver, and I was in what I was told was the poorest neighborhood in North America - which I find very hard to believe because has anyone here ever been to Detroit?

I don't emphasize the whatevs. I say it as if it's truly a toss-away word.