I forget, is freedom of speech when it's legal to say what you want or is it when it has no consequences for some reason?

You can do anything you want, as long as it works.

Most bullies are the product of a stressful and often abusive home life. Next time a bully threatens or attacks you, just yell, 'Don't abuse me like your parents abuse you!' Then call children's services and tell them you saw this bully crying in the bathroom and you're worried about him. Bam! He just got moved to a foster home.

I believe in diversification of income, because you never know what will happen. I'm a slightly paranoid person who thinks things could be ruined at any time.

There's nothing sexier than a girl who's like, 'I know who FDR is, I know about the New Deal, I'm going to give you a new deal.' And then, over a period of years, she structures her sex acts in such a way that they save the economy.

Sports bars are also a great place for guys to meet other guys--either for sex or for wrestling, whichever feels more right.

On a scale of one to ten, how punk am I? Apple. I don't use your scale.