I can kill a dog in six ways. Five of them are throwing missiles at it.

I laugh at weird times - at good and bad things alike. I laugh simply when things are incongruous. It's not necessarily a judgment - as it is noticing the oddity of something.

When years from now people look back on today, they will think the same thing they already do but with more reasons for it.

Don't get me wrong - I'll put $25 on the ground and then if you pick it up and we have sex in an alley, that's not a crime. That's a coincidence.

The only thing wrong with me was that I was a weirdo that hated school. I'm sure now there'd be a disorder for it, but I was just an oddball.

I went to high school in Lexington, Massachusetts, which in hindsight was very nice.

I don't think you should invest in commodities. Eddie Murphy made it seem risky in Trading Places.