The truth is, for however much my stories come out of things that have happened to me, they're not darkly or as deeply personal as someone like Marc Maron or a lot of comedians, but they are essentially my life and my interpretation of it.

Confidence is the key to virtually everything. It's just deciding that you're qualified because once you decide you're qualified, everything else becomes very easy.

What I think you should do is imagine people in their underwear but then also imagine them crying, and that - that is truly relaxing.

I don't emphasize the whatevs. I say it as if it's truly a toss-away word.

A lot of the things I do are the sort of things I think are funny.

I'm fascinated by the logic that leads to something.

Sports bars are also a great place for guys to meet other guys--either for sex or for wrestling, whichever feels more right.