You wanna know what a gateway drug is? It opens a gate.

You can do anything you want, as long as it works.

I forget, is freedom of speech when it's legal to say what you want or is it when it has no consequences for some reason?

I don't speak French, but I took it for five years growing up. So, if I were in a situation where I had to be, like, 'Excuse me, pineapple dog house red, what time is it library?' - no problem.

Some tips for life: 1.Don't be afraid to follow your dreams, unless your dreams are stupid. 2.Be kind to people. 3.Don't get too excited when you read the Fountainhead 4.In times of recession, it is time for invention. 5.Things can kill you, so keep that in mind, you fearless know it alls.

I don't know what it would be like to actually play guitar. I've toured with a lot of comedians and it's never been like it is for a rock band.

The good thing about being stuck at the airport for an extra hour, is that it gives you a chance to give weary travelers surprise massages.