It's easy to sit on a mountaintop and tell people what to do and how to be happy. I have chosen to do that. Not because it's easy, but for a different reason, which I would reveal, if your mind was ready to handle it, which it isn't, which is also very convenient for me.

Is the square root of hate the same thing as love times love?

I don't know what it would be like to actually play guitar. I've toured with a lot of comedians and it's never been like it is for a rock band.

I like the idea of being sort of withdrawn and mysterious, and what can be more mysterious that someone wearing a trash bag, like a dark trash bag, with eye holes that say "nihilism?" You'd be curious. What's underneath that? Is it perfect? Or is it broken?

When years from now people look back on today, they will think the same thing they already do but with more reasons for it.

You are an alchemist who can turn six beers into an awkward three week relationship.

I don't think you should invest in commodities. Eddie Murphy made it seem risky in Trading Places.