Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.

Some couples divorce because of a misunderstandin g; others, because they understand each other too well.

Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.

Family: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.

Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.

A husband is like a fire. He goes out when unattended.

Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.