Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

Somebody is always doing something that somebody else said couldn't be done.

[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.

Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.

Success is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Egocentric: A person who has his I's too close together.