Egocentric: A person who has his I's too close together.
A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia.
[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.
The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams
The secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.
Hindsight is good, foresight is better; but second sight is best of all.