The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams

It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.

A dollar saved is a dollar earned but seldom vice versa.

The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.

A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.

Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.