The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams

Egocentricity: The vanity that makes you wonder what people are thinking about you when they are really wondering what you are thinking about them.

It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.

Divorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.

A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.

Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.

Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.