Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
Experience is a great teacher, and sometimes a pretty teacher is a great experience.
Bureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.
A husband is like a fire. He goes out when unattended.
[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.