[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.

The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.

This may be the age of automation, but love is still being made by hand.

Definition of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.