Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.
Compare what you want with what you have, and you'll be unhappy; compare what you deserve with what you have, and you'll be happy.
Egocentric: A person who has his I's too close together.
Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
Nothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.
The mint makes it first, it is up to you to make it last.