Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.

We can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth.

Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.

A lecturer often makes you feel dumb at one end and numb at the other.

Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.

The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.

After wisdom comes wit.