Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.

Egocentricity: The vanity that makes you wonder what people are thinking about you when they are really wondering what you are thinking about them.

The word impossible is peculiar because if you examine it closely, you'll find that most of it is possible.

[Statistics] Fiction in its most uninteresting form.

[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.

Some women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables.

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much.