A lecturer often makes you feel dumb at one end and numb at the other.

Some women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

The tongue is the only muscle in the human body that never gets tired [talking].

Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.

Hindsight is good, foresight is better; but second sight is best of all.