A homosexual is the only man who ever meets a man he would like to marry if he were a woman.
The car was invented as a convenient place to sit out traffic jams
Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.
Compare what you want with what you have, and you'll be unhappy; compare what you deserve with what you have, and you'll be happy.
Egocentric: A person who has his I's too close together.
Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.