[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.
If you can't bear to have your face stepped on, don't try to climb the ladder of success.
A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.
A smart mother suggests that her child bring an apple to his teacher; a smarter mother suggests that he bring a couple of aspirins.
A special skill, like speaking several languages, or keeping your mouth shut in one.