Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose.

Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions-because they know all the answers.

A special skill, like speaking several languages, or keeping your mouth shut in one.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy - and Jill a wealthy widow.

[Statistics] Fiction in its most uninteresting form.

Life is a game played on us while we are playing other games.

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.