Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.

If you can't bear to have your face stepped on, don't try to climb the ladder of success.

Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.

[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.

A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia.

It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.

The best way to spoil a good story is by sticking to the facts.