Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
Reactionary: One who wants the rules enforced so nobody can take his pile away from him the way he got it from others.
Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches.
Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.
The tongue is the only muscle in the human body that never gets tired [talking].
A vacation is like love - anticipated with pleasure, experienced with discomfort, and remembered with nostalgia.