Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.
Compare what you want with what you have, and you'll be unhappy; compare what you deserve with what you have, and you'll be happy.
Admiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.
The three chief causes of divorce are men, women, and marriage.
The tongue is the only muscle in the human body that never gets tired [talking].
[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.