[Statistics] Fiction in its most uninteresting form.

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

A smart mother suggests that her child bring an apple to his teacher; a smarter mother suggests that he bring a couple of aspirins.

Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Etymology: from Latin ad-, "to" + visum, past participle of videre, "to see". Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are growing old.

Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.