Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.

Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.

A husband is like a fire. He goes out when unattended.

Think twice before you speak, and then you may be able to say something more insulting than if you spoke right out at once.

It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.

A smart mother suggests that her child bring an apple to his teacher; a smarter mother suggests that he bring a couple of aspirins.

Somebody is always doing something that somebody else said couldn't be done.