The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.

Egocentric: A person who has his I's too close together.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

All work and no pay makes a housewife.

Good teachers cost a lot; but, poor teachers cost a lot more.

[Statistics] The science that can prove everything except the usefulness of statistics.

The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.