The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.

Hope is tomorrow's veneer over today's disappointment.

Compare what you want with what you have, and you'll be unhappy; compare what you deserve with what you have, and you'll be happy.

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.

Definition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.

The cat: an animal that's so unpredictable, you can never tell in advance how it will ignore you the next time.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.